By Akilah Monifa, June 12, 2008
We’re in the midst of Gay Pride Month, and we have much to celebrate and much yet to achieve.
In May 2008, California became only the second state following Massachusetts to allow same-sex marriage. Currently, 26 states have constitutional amendments stating that marriage can only be between a man and a woman. And 43 states have statutes restricting marriage to two people of the opposite sex.
When I consider this issue, I think of Mildred Loving, the black woman who had to leave her home state of Virginia to get married to a white man. To avoid a jail term after their return and arrest, they were forced to leave the state again.
Before 1964, 17 states prohibited men and women of different races from marrying.
But the Lovings kept fighting — all the way to the Supreme Court.
And on June 12, 1967, the court ruled in their favor and outlawed miscegenation laws. The court said they had a fundamental equal protection right to marry across race.
Mildred Loving, who died this May 2, simply wanted to be able to marry the person she loved.
That’s all that gays and lesbians want, too.
Fortunately same-sex couples are no longer arrested for being together. But the fundamental right to marry eludes us in 48 states,
The prohibitions against marriage based on race and same sex are the same core civil-rights issues. It is a fundamental equal protection right.
May California and Massachusetts lead the way.
Happy Gay Pride Month.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Oklahoma state representative engages in intolerance
By Akilah Monifa, April 3, 2008
Elected officials should stop demonizing gay people.
Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern is the latest to fan the flames of intolerance.
Earlier this year, in a speech to the Oklahoma City Republican Club, she stated that homosexuality is “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.”
She also said, “They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them. They are going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle. … If you have cancer in your little toe, do you just say that I'm going to forget about it since the rest of you is fine? It spreads! This stuff is deadly and it is spreading. It will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation.”
After her speech leaked out on the Internet, gay and lesbian rights groups demanded that she apologize.
She refused to do so, though she denied she was “anti-gay” or “gay-bashing.”
And she attended a “Rally for Sally” at the capitol in Oklahoma City on April 2.
Kern told the more than 1,000 demonstrators: “This is not about me. It’s about the church having the right to speak out about the redeeming love of Jesus Christ who died to set us all free from our sins.”
But that’s not the issue at all. Kern and her church can say whatever they want. And in their parochial schools, they can teach children whatever they want. But as an elected official, she has an obligation not to engage in hate speech. And that’s what her comparisons to terrorism and cancer are.
What she so despises about our public schools I applaud. We should teach tolerance there — and throughout our society.
There is too much intolerance going around.
Elected officials should stop demonizing gay people.
Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern is the latest to fan the flames of intolerance.
Earlier this year, in a speech to the Oklahoma City Republican Club, she stated that homosexuality is “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.”
She also said, “They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them. They are going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle. … If you have cancer in your little toe, do you just say that I'm going to forget about it since the rest of you is fine? It spreads! This stuff is deadly and it is spreading. It will destroy our young people and it will destroy this nation.”
After her speech leaked out on the Internet, gay and lesbian rights groups demanded that she apologize.
She refused to do so, though she denied she was “anti-gay” or “gay-bashing.”
And she attended a “Rally for Sally” at the capitol in Oklahoma City on April 2.
Kern told the more than 1,000 demonstrators: “This is not about me. It’s about the church having the right to speak out about the redeeming love of Jesus Christ who died to set us all free from our sins.”
But that’s not the issue at all. Kern and her church can say whatever they want. And in their parochial schools, they can teach children whatever they want. But as an elected official, she has an obligation not to engage in hate speech. And that’s what her comparisons to terrorism and cancer are.
What she so despises about our public schools I applaud. We should teach tolerance there — and throughout our society.
There is too much intolerance going around.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A Call for tolerance education
By Akilah Monifa, February 21, 2008
The murder of gay teenager Lawrence King should wake us all up to the fatal condition of homophobia that still afflicts our nation.
King, 15, was in his classroom in Oxnard, Calif., with 20 other students on Feb. 12 when a fellow student shot him. King died a day later.
He had come out as gay, and there were reports of bullying and harassment because of his sexual orientation and gender expression of wearing make-up and dressing in "feminine attire.”
For all the progress we’ve made in the movement for gay rights over the last 40 years, the hatred of sexual minorities still takes its terrible toll. High-profile murders have not halted the lethal assaults.
Fifteen years ago, Brandon Teena, 21, was raped and killed in Nebraska. His murder was later the subject of the movie “Boys Don’t Cry.”
Ten years ago, Matthew Shepard, 21, was murdered in Wyoming, and his story became immortalized in the “Laramie Project” play.
Five and a half years ago, Gwen Araujo was only 17 when she was murdered in northern California for being transgender. Her story was made into the movie “A Girl Like Me.”
Despite the cultural attention, and despite efforts in the schools to raise awareness, the violence persists.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students are particularly at risk at school and are more likely to report being threatened or injured with a weapon than other students, according to a survey by the California Department of Education.
Why in 2008 are there still hate crimes against sexual minorities? What is it about a young boy in make-up or coming out as gay man or a transgender woman that makes bullies believe they can harass, attack, assault or even kill the person?
Yes, we need better laws.
What’s it going to take to get meaningful gun control is in this country? The same week that Lawrence King was shot dead we had the terrible mass murder at Northern Illinois University.
Enough is enough.
We also need additional hate crime legislation, both on the state and federal levels.
But what is even more essential is ongoing, broad-based tolerance education in the schools.
And this education should be proactive, a core component of secondary education for all students and their parents.
Expressing our sexuality should not put a target on our backs.
The murder of gay teenager Lawrence King should wake us all up to the fatal condition of homophobia that still afflicts our nation.
King, 15, was in his classroom in Oxnard, Calif., with 20 other students on Feb. 12 when a fellow student shot him. King died a day later.
He had come out as gay, and there were reports of bullying and harassment because of his sexual orientation and gender expression of wearing make-up and dressing in "feminine attire.”
For all the progress we’ve made in the movement for gay rights over the last 40 years, the hatred of sexual minorities still takes its terrible toll. High-profile murders have not halted the lethal assaults.
Fifteen years ago, Brandon Teena, 21, was raped and killed in Nebraska. His murder was later the subject of the movie “Boys Don’t Cry.”
Ten years ago, Matthew Shepard, 21, was murdered in Wyoming, and his story became immortalized in the “Laramie Project” play.
Five and a half years ago, Gwen Araujo was only 17 when she was murdered in northern California for being transgender. Her story was made into the movie “A Girl Like Me.”
Despite the cultural attention, and despite efforts in the schools to raise awareness, the violence persists.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students are particularly at risk at school and are more likely to report being threatened or injured with a weapon than other students, according to a survey by the California Department of Education.
Why in 2008 are there still hate crimes against sexual minorities? What is it about a young boy in make-up or coming out as gay man or a transgender woman that makes bullies believe they can harass, attack, assault or even kill the person?
Yes, we need better laws.
What’s it going to take to get meaningful gun control is in this country? The same week that Lawrence King was shot dead we had the terrible mass murder at Northern Illinois University.
Enough is enough.
We also need additional hate crime legislation, both on the state and federal levels.
But what is even more essential is ongoing, broad-based tolerance education in the schools.
And this education should be proactive, a core component of secondary education for all students and their parents.
Expressing our sexuality should not put a target on our backs.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Candidates must rise above racist appeals
1/6/2008 published in The Gulf Times and others
By Akilah Monifa: My New Year’s wish this year is an election campaign shorn of bigotry. But it may be too late for that already.
Last year, Mitt Romney’s campaign said Senator Barack Obama was calling for jihadists to rally in Iraq. Actually, that was Osama bin Laden. What a difference a consonant makes. The Romney campaign fobbed it off as a simple, inadvertent gaffe.
But some gaffes are harder to explain away.
A new report by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley shows the prevalence of racial appeals. The report is titled Race-Bait ‘08: Lessons Learned from the Political Dirty Dozen - 12 Cases Playing the Race Card 1983 -2007.
One classic example is the TV ad in 2006 against Harold Ford, a black member of the House of Representatives who was running for the Senate in Tennessee. The ad, by the Republican National Committee, had a blonde saying, “I met Harold at the Playboy party”, and ended with her saying, “Harold, call me”.
Then there was the infamous Willie Horton ad, which was used against presidential candidate Michael Dukakis in 1988. The ad showed a mug shot of this convicted murderer, who committed another murder while on furlough. Horton is black.
And if you live in North Carolina, it’s hard to forget the 1990 ad that Senator Jesse Helms ran against his black challenger, Harvey Gantt. The ad, which was against racial quotas in hiring, showed someone’s white hands crumpling a letter denying the person a job.
Playing the race card is not limited to white candidates against people of colour.
In 2006, Ray Nagin, the black Democratic mayor of New Orleans running in a post-Katrina election, seized on race to revive his campaign. At least twice in public he referred to New Orleans as “Chocolate City” and added that one day it would be “chocolate again”. Nagin won by taking 80% of the black vote; in his 2002 election, he had won only 40%.
Sometimes, the intrusion of race doesn’t appear to be so calculated.
For instance, in 1984 the Rev Jesse Jackson, a Democrat, had called Jews “Hymies” and New York “Hymie-town”. He later apologised for it.
In 2006, then-senator George Allen of Virginia destroyed his own campaign by calling an Indian American “Macaca”.
And last year, Senator Joe Biden’s candidacy sputtered after he said about Obama: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”
Biden’s and Jackson’s comments may have revealed bigoted thoughts that aren’t usually aired in mixed company or on the record.
The amazing thing to me in 21st century America is that many people running for public office can’t resist the bigoted stumble. I almost prefer the blatant racism of Jesse Helms than having the truth come out in an excited or bumbling utterance that is excused as a gaffe.
I expected it from Jesse Helms. But I didn’t expect it from Jesse Jackson or George Allen or Joe Biden. I had hoped we were beyond that.
And I still hope that the candidates this time around can rise above racist appeals, whether intentional or inadvertent.
We’ve seen enough of these already. – The Progressive Media Project/MCT
By Akilah Monifa: My New Year’s wish this year is an election campaign shorn of bigotry. But it may be too late for that already.
Last year, Mitt Romney’s campaign said Senator Barack Obama was calling for jihadists to rally in Iraq. Actually, that was Osama bin Laden. What a difference a consonant makes. The Romney campaign fobbed it off as a simple, inadvertent gaffe.
But some gaffes are harder to explain away.
A new report by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley shows the prevalence of racial appeals. The report is titled Race-Bait ‘08: Lessons Learned from the Political Dirty Dozen - 12 Cases Playing the Race Card 1983 -2007.
One classic example is the TV ad in 2006 against Harold Ford, a black member of the House of Representatives who was running for the Senate in Tennessee. The ad, by the Republican National Committee, had a blonde saying, “I met Harold at the Playboy party”, and ended with her saying, “Harold, call me”.
Then there was the infamous Willie Horton ad, which was used against presidential candidate Michael Dukakis in 1988. The ad showed a mug shot of this convicted murderer, who committed another murder while on furlough. Horton is black.
And if you live in North Carolina, it’s hard to forget the 1990 ad that Senator Jesse Helms ran against his black challenger, Harvey Gantt. The ad, which was against racial quotas in hiring, showed someone’s white hands crumpling a letter denying the person a job.
Playing the race card is not limited to white candidates against people of colour.
In 2006, Ray Nagin, the black Democratic mayor of New Orleans running in a post-Katrina election, seized on race to revive his campaign. At least twice in public he referred to New Orleans as “Chocolate City” and added that one day it would be “chocolate again”. Nagin won by taking 80% of the black vote; in his 2002 election, he had won only 40%.
Sometimes, the intrusion of race doesn’t appear to be so calculated.
For instance, in 1984 the Rev Jesse Jackson, a Democrat, had called Jews “Hymies” and New York “Hymie-town”. He later apologised for it.
In 2006, then-senator George Allen of Virginia destroyed his own campaign by calling an Indian American “Macaca”.
And last year, Senator Joe Biden’s candidacy sputtered after he said about Obama: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”
Biden’s and Jackson’s comments may have revealed bigoted thoughts that aren’t usually aired in mixed company or on the record.
The amazing thing to me in 21st century America is that many people running for public office can’t resist the bigoted stumble. I almost prefer the blatant racism of Jesse Helms than having the truth come out in an excited or bumbling utterance that is excused as a gaffe.
I expected it from Jesse Helms. But I didn’t expect it from Jesse Jackson or George Allen or Joe Biden. I had hoped we were beyond that.
And I still hope that the candidates this time around can rise above racist appeals, whether intentional or inadvertent.
We’ve seen enough of these already. – The Progressive Media Project/MCT
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Juneteenth is "independence day" for many African-Americans
Few Americans know that June 19, orJuneteenth, is Independence Day for many folks of African descent.
Also known as Emancipation Day or Freedom Day, it commemorates the end of slavery, the seminal event in African-American history.
President Lincoln's EmancipationProclamation took effect on Jan. 1, 1863, but the word did not spread instantly.
According to one account from published slave narratives of how the holiday began, the Emancipation Proclamation was read to slaves in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865, more than two years after it officially went into effect. As word of the end of slavery spread, Juneteenth was created to commemorate that day.
Folklore tells why the news of freedom took so long to arrive.
One story is that slaves wereintentionally kept ignorant about their freedom in order to allow crops to continue being harvested.
Another has one messenger traveling by mule from the date of the Emancipation Proclamation to deliver the news, and it simply took more than two years to arrive from Washington, D.C., to Texas.
Yet another story has the messenger being murdered before he could deliver the message.
Juneteenth has been a state holiday in Texas since 1980, and it is either an official holiday or an observed day in at least 17 other states -- Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma and Wyoming.
Juneteenth is also celebrated in other parts of the world, including China, Ghana, Israel and Japan, to name a few countries, according to Juneteenth.com, an educational Web site.
Why should anyone celebrate the holiday?
"With its lighthearted name andtragicomic origins, Juneteenth appeals to many Americans by celebrating the end of slavery without dwelling on its legacy," wrote Julie Moskin in a 2004 article in the New York Times.
"Juneteenth, its celebrators say, is Martin Luther King's Birthday without the grieving."
No stats prove how many people celebrate Juneteenth every year, but those who do usually treat it like most holidays: filled with parades, speakers, plenty of food, family, dancing and laughter.
Happy Juneteenth.
Also known as Emancipation Day or Freedom Day, it commemorates the end of slavery, the seminal event in African-American history.
President Lincoln's EmancipationProclamation took effect on Jan. 1, 1863, but the word did not spread instantly.
According to one account from published slave narratives of how the holiday began, the Emancipation Proclamation was read to slaves in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865, more than two years after it officially went into effect. As word of the end of slavery spread, Juneteenth was created to commemorate that day.
Folklore tells why the news of freedom took so long to arrive.
One story is that slaves wereintentionally kept ignorant about their freedom in order to allow crops to continue being harvested.
Another has one messenger traveling by mule from the date of the Emancipation Proclamation to deliver the news, and it simply took more than two years to arrive from Washington, D.C., to Texas.
Yet another story has the messenger being murdered before he could deliver the message.
Juneteenth has been a state holiday in Texas since 1980, and it is either an official holiday or an observed day in at least 17 other states -- Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma and Wyoming.
Juneteenth is also celebrated in other parts of the world, including China, Ghana, Israel and Japan, to name a few countries, according to Juneteenth.com, an educational Web site.
Why should anyone celebrate the holiday?
"With its lighthearted name andtragicomic origins, Juneteenth appeals to many Americans by celebrating the end of slavery without dwelling on its legacy," wrote Julie Moskin in a 2004 article in the New York Times.
"Juneteenth, its celebrators say, is Martin Luther King's Birthday without the grieving."
No stats prove how many people celebrate Juneteenth every year, but those who do usually treat it like most holidays: filled with parades, speakers, plenty of food, family, dancing and laughter.
Happy Juneteenth.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Biden should apologize to all black Americans
By Akilah Monifa
Joe Biden owed an apology not just to Sen. Barack Obama. He also owed an apology to previous black presidential candidates -- living or dead -- including Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rep. Shirley Chisholm, former Sen. Carol Mosely Braun and Rev. Al Sharpton. And he owes an apology to all African-Americans.
Biden, who is white, called his fellow Democratic presidential contender "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."
Although Biden later issued an apology, he initially claimed he was misquoted and then tried to say that by "clean," he really meant fresh.
Biden's description of the former African-American presidential candidates revealed some of the racist thoughts that many have and don't articulate in mixed company or on the record.
I'm not calling Biden a racist, and, quite honestly, I doubt the thoughts are even conscious. But his comment uncovered the old split between the so-called "good Negro or black" and the bad one -- the house "n" word versus the field "n" word.
The controversy over the quote has centered on Biden's use of the words "clean" and "articulate," since the assumption behind it appears to be that blacks are naturally dirty and unintelligent. But his use of the word "mainstream" is almost as harmful. Is "mainstream" tantamount to "white"? Or is it that Obama is a more palatable African-American than, say, Sharpton or Jackson?
As an African American, I would not have been so publicly forgiving as Obama was at first blush when he stated, "I didn't take it personally and I don't think he intended to offend. But the way he constructed the statement was probably a little too unfortunate."
That is putting it mildly.
Most Americans don't want to think that they may be racist and don't want to acknowledge harboring racist thoughts. But the insidiousness of Biden's choice of words reveals far more than if he had used the "n" word.
Both Biden and Obama should do more to clear this up. We'd be a better country if they did.
Joe Biden owed an apology not just to Sen. Barack Obama. He also owed an apology to previous black presidential candidates -- living or dead -- including Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rep. Shirley Chisholm, former Sen. Carol Mosely Braun and Rev. Al Sharpton. And he owes an apology to all African-Americans.
Biden, who is white, called his fellow Democratic presidential contender "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."
Although Biden later issued an apology, he initially claimed he was misquoted and then tried to say that by "clean," he really meant fresh.
Biden's description of the former African-American presidential candidates revealed some of the racist thoughts that many have and don't articulate in mixed company or on the record.
I'm not calling Biden a racist, and, quite honestly, I doubt the thoughts are even conscious. But his comment uncovered the old split between the so-called "good Negro or black" and the bad one -- the house "n" word versus the field "n" word.
The controversy over the quote has centered on Biden's use of the words "clean" and "articulate," since the assumption behind it appears to be that blacks are naturally dirty and unintelligent. But his use of the word "mainstream" is almost as harmful. Is "mainstream" tantamount to "white"? Or is it that Obama is a more palatable African-American than, say, Sharpton or Jackson?
As an African American, I would not have been so publicly forgiving as Obama was at first blush when he stated, "I didn't take it personally and I don't think he intended to offend. But the way he constructed the statement was probably a little too unfortunate."
That is putting it mildly.
Most Americans don't want to think that they may be racist and don't want to acknowledge harboring racist thoughts. But the insidiousness of Biden's choice of words reveals far more than if he had used the "n" word.
Both Biden and Obama should do more to clear this up. We'd be a better country if they did.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Don't Ask, Don't Tell Pressure to Keep Quiet Extends to Team Sports
by Akilah Monifa
Sometimes not only do I get confused about what day of the week it is, but also the year. I recently received an e-mail from a friend which directed me to an article that began: "Should gay athletes, more particularly, should gay men be accepted as teammates? Should they have the same privileges of a heterosexual person in a locker room, or the same shower privileges? Should they be allowed to sleep in the same hotel room with their teammates?"
At first I thought it was some article from the 50s dredged up and reprinted. But somewhat to my shock, but mainly my dismay, the article was written in November 2002. As they say, the more things change, the more they stay the same. It was at least a throw back to the 1993 U.S. military policy of "don't ask, don't tell."
As an out African American lesbian and mother, sometimes I think that the world, or at least the rest of the United States, sees life through my lenses, which are accepting of folks regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other identity.
But then I am snapped back in to reality. The quote above was written by Demetrious Johnson for the St. Louis American, a free weekly newspaper (circ. 68,500) covering the African American community. Johnson wrote a column titled, "Parameters need to be set on gay athletes."
The background is that former professional football player Esera Tuaolo came out as a gay man a full two years after retiring from football. Tuaolo was a nose tackle and weighed 300 pounds. Far from anyone's stereotype of a gay man. This guy was in the closet during his nine years of professional play, and of course long before that. In a print interview he spoke of his fear of coming out while an active player and said: "I'd wind up cut or injured. I was sure that if a GM didn't get rid of me for the sake of team chemistry, another player would intentionally hurt me, to keep up the image, because the NFL is a supermacho culture."
Johnson and others basically stated that in general they don't have a problem with gay folks or gay athletes, but that they should be in the closet if they play team sports or are in the locker rooms. Certainly a lot of journalists, athletes and other folks feel that way. But actions speak louder than statements. Johnson and others do have a problem with gay athletes and for that matter, gay people.
Somehow if you are gay and talk about your relationships or even have a picture of your partner you are "flaunting your lifestyle" but it is perfectly acceptable to talk about heterosexual relationships, even inappropriate ones. Rape, unprotected sex, cheating, physical and emotional violence are appropriate locker room talk -- but just don't be gay.
Tuaolo came out in October 2002 in a media blitz on HBO's "Real Sports" and "Inside the NFL," CNN, and ABC's "Good Morning America." But the real aftermath is being felt now with the homophobic reactions.
Charles Barkley, a former professional basketball player, put it best: "First of all, there are a lot of people in here that don't like gay people. It's not just athletes. Athletes are insecure. Man, we got the testosterone rolling. We don't want to be around gay men, that's just how it is. But it's not just in the locker room. I mean, people just don't like gay people in this country. And that's sad."
Sad indeed, but Barkley is right, it's not just sports. Is there any wonder folks from all walks of life are reluctant to come out? I applaud Tuaolo for coming out and remain saddened that a 34-year-old man cannot be out as a gay man. No professional athlete has come out while playing a team sport. I don't blame them.
For until we all see that lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered folks have a "life" not a "lifestyle," "sexual orientations" (as do heterosexuals) not "preferences" we will continue to be driven into the closet. And that certainly is no way to live one's life.
One big step journalists can take in general in covering lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender folks is to not accept and reprint homophobic statements. Another very simple thing is to question language used to describe LGBTs and apply that same language to heterosexuals. For example, one sees the term gay "lifestyle" but there is no heterosexual "lifestyle."
LGBTs are like heterosexuals in how we live our lives and form our families. Using distinguishing words lessens our lives. Journalists covering gay athlete issues or who want to seek further education should also look to the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for a style guide as well as the GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) LGBT Media Reference Guide for Fall 2002/Winter 2003.
As for Tuaolo, hopefully he will have the last laugh. He is out of football and out in life and lives with his partner and their 23-month-old twins. Thank you Esera for breaking the silence and coming out of the closet. Here's to hoping that others will see the importance of being out and not be threatened by someone else coming out.
Sometimes not only do I get confused about what day of the week it is, but also the year. I recently received an e-mail from a friend which directed me to an article that began: "Should gay athletes, more particularly, should gay men be accepted as teammates? Should they have the same privileges of a heterosexual person in a locker room, or the same shower privileges? Should they be allowed to sleep in the same hotel room with their teammates?"
At first I thought it was some article from the 50s dredged up and reprinted. But somewhat to my shock, but mainly my dismay, the article was written in November 2002. As they say, the more things change, the more they stay the same. It was at least a throw back to the 1993 U.S. military policy of "don't ask, don't tell."
As an out African American lesbian and mother, sometimes I think that the world, or at least the rest of the United States, sees life through my lenses, which are accepting of folks regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other identity.
But then I am snapped back in to reality. The quote above was written by Demetrious Johnson for the St. Louis American, a free weekly newspaper (circ. 68,500) covering the African American community. Johnson wrote a column titled, "Parameters need to be set on gay athletes."
The background is that former professional football player Esera Tuaolo came out as a gay man a full two years after retiring from football. Tuaolo was a nose tackle and weighed 300 pounds. Far from anyone's stereotype of a gay man. This guy was in the closet during his nine years of professional play, and of course long before that. In a print interview he spoke of his fear of coming out while an active player and said: "I'd wind up cut or injured. I was sure that if a GM didn't get rid of me for the sake of team chemistry, another player would intentionally hurt me, to keep up the image, because the NFL is a supermacho culture."
Johnson and others basically stated that in general they don't have a problem with gay folks or gay athletes, but that they should be in the closet if they play team sports or are in the locker rooms. Certainly a lot of journalists, athletes and other folks feel that way. But actions speak louder than statements. Johnson and others do have a problem with gay athletes and for that matter, gay people.
Somehow if you are gay and talk about your relationships or even have a picture of your partner you are "flaunting your lifestyle" but it is perfectly acceptable to talk about heterosexual relationships, even inappropriate ones. Rape, unprotected sex, cheating, physical and emotional violence are appropriate locker room talk -- but just don't be gay.
Tuaolo came out in October 2002 in a media blitz on HBO's "Real Sports" and "Inside the NFL," CNN, and ABC's "Good Morning America." But the real aftermath is being felt now with the homophobic reactions.
Charles Barkley, a former professional basketball player, put it best: "First of all, there are a lot of people in here that don't like gay people. It's not just athletes. Athletes are insecure. Man, we got the testosterone rolling. We don't want to be around gay men, that's just how it is. But it's not just in the locker room. I mean, people just don't like gay people in this country. And that's sad."
Sad indeed, but Barkley is right, it's not just sports. Is there any wonder folks from all walks of life are reluctant to come out? I applaud Tuaolo for coming out and remain saddened that a 34-year-old man cannot be out as a gay man. No professional athlete has come out while playing a team sport. I don't blame them.
For until we all see that lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered folks have a "life" not a "lifestyle," "sexual orientations" (as do heterosexuals) not "preferences" we will continue to be driven into the closet. And that certainly is no way to live one's life.
One big step journalists can take in general in covering lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender folks is to not accept and reprint homophobic statements. Another very simple thing is to question language used to describe LGBTs and apply that same language to heterosexuals. For example, one sees the term gay "lifestyle" but there is no heterosexual "lifestyle."
LGBTs are like heterosexuals in how we live our lives and form our families. Using distinguishing words lessens our lives. Journalists covering gay athlete issues or who want to seek further education should also look to the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for a style guide as well as the GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) LGBT Media Reference Guide for Fall 2002/Winter 2003.
As for Tuaolo, hopefully he will have the last laugh. He is out of football and out in life and lives with his partner and their 23-month-old twins. Thank you Esera for breaking the silence and coming out of the closet. Here's to hoping that others will see the importance of being out and not be threatened by someone else coming out.
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